page 21 LIFE OF DAMIAN VAN-HYPE, PT TWO ; Virulent Virus comes to earth

From the very first moment Virulent Virus,the Alien,landed in a farm on planet earth it made an instant impression on the farming couple, Mr and Mrs Van-Hype, who were to become his adopted parents. It was nothing to do with it's spacecraft burning up their crop, destroying half their livestock, or crushing their favourite tractor, it was the alien's physical form that caught their attention. Apart from it's strangely mature nostrils and unearthly stare, it looked every bit like a young human being of diminutive stature.

The wholesale devastation of the Van-Hype's holding would have resulted in a pitchfork locating the most sensitive part of Alien's anatomy, had it not been for Mrs Van-Hypes timely intervention.

"Wait dear!", implored Mrs Van-Hype,"shouldn't we try to see the devastation of our farm from the Alien's point of view".

"What the hell are you talking about?" exclaimed Mr Van-Hype, through clenched teeth.

"Well, the Alien seems to be some kind of artist and probably sees our farm going up in flames as a breathtaking scene of smoke,death and destruction", explained Mrs Van-Hype.

But Mrs Van-Hype's attempt at reasoning didn't quench her husband outrage and had to resort to more direct pleading.

"Don't do it dear!",pleaded Mrs Vnd-Hype,"please don't do anything with that pitchfork until the Alien has a chance to explain why it considers the near wiping out of our livelihood to be a a work of art".

But Mrs Van-Hype had no reason to be concerned as the alien displayed an irresistible hypnotic charm,especially when it came under attack.Even as Mr Van-Hype let rip with a torrent of venomous fundamental truths like " YOU'RE NOTHING MORE THAN AN OBNOXIOUS LITTLE RUNT WHO IS OBSESSED WITH DEATH AND DESTRUCTION!",the alien just smiled,and Mr Van-Hype was overcome with the desire to adopt it.

Mrs Van-Hype could not have been more pleased as she always wanted a son, and because it bore a striking resemblance to themselves, especially around the nostrils, made it even more special.

The Van-Hypes may have lost a farm, but they had gained a son, and his name would be Damian Van-Hype, the same as great grandad Van-Hype,the artist, who also had a grossly exaggerated sense of his own importance, as did every Van-Hype, in whatever happened to be their chosen field of activity.